I’m
Letticia Chan, already 63 years old and a mother
of two sons. I’m with the Cathedral’s Prison
Ministry, which helps to re-integrate ex-prisoners
back into the society. What led me to take up this
challenging and often frustrating and
heart-breaking work?
It all started in 2001. At that time, I was a chef
running my own catering firm. Before that I was a
chef at Goodwood Park Hotel. I was a nominal
Christian then. For over fifty years since my
baptism as a baby, I had dutifully done all the
Christian ritual of attending church and living on
the right side of the law. But I was too busy with
my work to do anymore for God. God kept calling me
to come back to Him and I kept Him waiting. I had
no time for God until the time I lost my freedom.
I remember that it was Ash Wednesday, 2001. I was
arrested for illegal employment of a foreign
worker. A minor offence no doubt, but still a
criminal one. My world came crashing down. As I
sat in the lock-up, I felt angry, alone and
abandoned by God. Then out of the blue, this image
of Jesus in Gethsemane flashed through my mind. I
saw a desolate figure abandoned by His disciples.
It was then that I fully understood how lonely
Jesus was when He went to the cross. Only then, I
truly knew what Jesus had done for me.
After I was released on bail, I left no stone
unturned to stay out of prison. I sold my business
to fight the case in court. I went from church to
church for prayers. I even went to get help from
other religions like Sai Baba. I was desperate. I
was a drowning woman clutching at straw. Then one
day as I was driving, with the loom of impending
prison sentence hanging over my head, I heard a
voice saying, “Why don’t you come home? Just come
home.” Before I realized it, I was driving into
the Cathedral grounds. I went into the Nave and
there and then I sat down and cried. And I prayed.
I had finally come home.
God didn’t just let me go to prison the way I was
at that time; a spiritual baby, angry and afraid.
He arranged events such that I had time to prepare
for the toughest time in my life. First, the
lawyer handling my case pulled out at the eleventh
hour. I asked my nephew, a wonderful Christian
lawyer, whether he could take my case. He prayed
about it and God gave him a message: Walk on
water. He understood that he had to take my case
by faith. He accepted the case but seeing that I
was not ready for life in prison, he delayed the
case for a year. But he knew that the conviction
was inevitable. The delay gave me time to draw
closer to God. I began to read the Bible, this
time with the scales on my eyes removed. God
became my new source of strength. I didn’t realize
then that I was being strengthened and equipped
for my imprisonment.
I was duly convicted and was given a one-year
sentence in Changi Prison. Strangely, going in
changed my perception of the case. Previously, I
had believed that it wasn’t my fault. I felt I had
to take the rap just because I was the director.
Somehow in prison, I stopped thinking that way. I
admitted it was my fault because I was careless.
By simply accepting that it was my responsibility
set me free from the bitterness that I felt. More
importantly, it gave me peace. But I was still
angry with God. I demanded that He took care of me
since He had put me there in prison. I remembered
asking Him why He had put me there. His answer
was: My thoughts are not your thoughts.
In prison, I was stripped off everything –
identity, family, freedom, material comforts,
everything! I was all alone and desperately
lonely. All I had was God and I clung to Him for
my life. There’s always a sense of danger lurking
around. By His grace I coped fairly well. I spent
my time reading the Bible and the books my family
had sent me. I waited eagerly for visiting time. I
took the chance to share the Bible with the
cellmates. In my first week in prison, a fellow
inmate said to me, “You Christian, right? Teach
me.” So I began to teach her about God through the
Bible. And in return she taught me how to survive
in prison. She was a godsend.
Two months after I had gone in, I was told that
I’d be working as a chef for the wardens. It was a
blessing as it meant that I’d be able to occupy my
time meaningfully. As I was the wardens’ chef,
they treated me very well. Even in prison God was
there to make sure my way was smooth. My faith and
my confidence in God grew very strong. On one
occasion I was asked to cook without oil. It was
the kitchen gang’s way of ‘sabotaging’ me, the new
kid on the block. Miraculously, I found a packet
of chicken skin in the freezer. The inmates were
praising God as they feasted on fried chicken skin
after I had extracted the oil He had provided!
I was spared many of the indignities most
prisoners are subjected to. I was never frisked.
But I had to watch my back. Luckily, I didn’t have
problems with my cellmates as I got along with
them. The most difficult part of doing time was
the loneliness. I missed my family, especially my
two sons. I felt very sad that my imprisonment had
hurt them badly. That was my greatest regret, the
most difficult to bear. In those times of grief
God was always there for me and I found comfort in
Him. As I grew closer to Him, He gave me peace. He
also transformed me. I became more understanding,
more tolerant and more compassionate.
By God’s grace, my sentence was reduced to six
months with two months out on home tagging. Not
only that, when I was released many people offered
me jobs. But in the end I chose to join the
Cathedral to serve as a volunteer in the Prison
Ministry. I’m now working fulltime in the church.
I feel a burden for the prisoners because of the
time I had spent in prison. I had lived with them,
slept with them and ate with them. I could
empathize with them deeply. God had sent me to
prison to show me the needs of the prisoners: They
are all crying for help. And I praise God for
using me to point these prisoners to Jesus who has
come to set captives free! Amen.
(Letticia’s story was told to and written by Sim
Teow Li.).
